That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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