No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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