So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
