If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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