I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
