yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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