Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
