I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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