Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
