So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
