just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
