I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
