i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
