my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize