She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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