Whod you bang
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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