dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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