You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
