My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
