piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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