New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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