Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
