We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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