in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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