I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
