please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
