If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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