Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
