she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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