if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The Olympian is in my bed
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