What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was born a porn star she said
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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