Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just pynch a tree in the face
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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