i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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