Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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