Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
