Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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