Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
