I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
