ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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