I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm like, not good at living.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
