Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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