I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
