now i know why i became what i already was.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
