super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
