I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
