I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
