Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
