Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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