Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
