yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
