D3 body, D1 cock
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
