she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
