If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
