(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
