..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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