So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
BRING THE BAGELS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
