So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
