It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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