I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize