well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
