I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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