The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
