There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
