so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
