yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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