you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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