I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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