Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How's work?
Spinning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
