i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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