i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
