My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
