you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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