dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
