She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize