She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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