he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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