weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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