what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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