I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize