Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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