You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
